Unfortunately I have been, and continue to be, rather too busy to write anything for the site. There should be some new content in a few weeks, but until then I’ll post the short play I wrote for submission at the end of last year. I realise that reading plays is rather boring, but this one barely merits performance, so this is the only form in which it’s available. Hopefully this will tide over my miniscule, though much appreciated, readership until I have some time to get something decent up here, and in the meantime I might bug Molly to let me put some more of her poetry up (or anyone else that wants to volunteer something). Here’s the play:

Horatio & Esmerelda

SCENE ONE

The Stage is empty and illuminated with white artificial stage lighting. HARRY walks out to the front of the stage. TRENT is sitting, as he will be for much of the play, in the first row of the audience, writing in a notebook.

HARRY: Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Harold Singer, writer, actor and casting director, and I would like to welcome you to the first performance of my first play, ‘Horatio and Esmerelda’. Tonight I shall be playing the part of Horatio, a shy young man who overcomes his insecurities when he meets the girl of his dreams in a library. Slowly, as their love blooms, she brings him more and more out of his shell, bestows him with that lustre that only love can-

TRENT raises his hand, a pen between his fingers, as if in a classroom

HARRY: (To Trent) Um, yes?

TRENT: What are you doing?

HARRY: Introducing the play, like Brecht did. (He looks at Trent, as if expecting further interruption.) Okay? (Trent nods) So, as I was saying, this is my play, and, well, we’ve had some troubles you know, it’s not that easy making a play, but it’s come a long way from the university project it began as and, as I’ve been told, “a bad rehearsal means a good performance”, so hopefully it should go down okay, and I hope you all enjoy it.

Harry looks nervously around the audience for a few seconds as if seeking their approval, then Harry exits SL.

SCENE TWO

Extra 1 and Extra 2 enter SR bringing with them two tables and four chairs. TABLE 1 they place DSR, TABLE 2 USL. They put two chairs facing each other either side of TABLE 1 and two chairs next to each other and facing the audience behind TABLE 2. The props set up, Extra 1 and Extra 2 exit SL. Esmerelda enters SR and sits in the closest chair on TABLE 1 and mimes reading a book. When Esmerelda walks on, Trent whistles. Horatio and Extra 2 enter SL.

EXTRA 2: So I just started reading that book you lent me, The French Lieutenant’s Woman. (They sit next to each other at TABLE 2) It’s pretty weird, how he keeps talking to you as if he’s there, y’know? Hey, are you listening?

HORATIO: What? Oh yeah, French Lieutenant’s Woman, yeah.

EXTRA 2: What were you thinking about?

HORATIO: That girl over there. She’s beautiful.

EXTRA 2: Yeah, I suppose. Do you know her?

HORATIO: I wish I did. I’ve seen her here before, but I don’t know her name. I bet it’s beautiful though.

EXTRA 2: Her name?

HORATIO: Yeah.

EXTRA 2: How can a name be beautiful?

HORATIO: What do you mean? Of course a name can be beautiful? Haven’t you ever read Lolita? The guy in that talks about how Lolita’s name is beautiful because it is lilting and just rolls off the tongue. That’s how a name can be beautiful, and I bet hers is.

EXTRA 2: If you say so. So are you going to go talk to her?

HORATIO: I don’t know.

EXTRA 2: Go on, you obviously want to.

HORATIO: Of course I want to, but what do I say? What do people say to each other? What does anyone say to anyone? If only I could work that out, if – do you think there’s a magic combination of words, and if you say the right words you can make anyone fall in love with you?

EXTRA 2: I’m not really sure…

HORATIO: There must be. It must be in the words people say to each other, because that’s all we have: words.

EXTRA 2: Seventy-five percent of communication is non- verbal.

HORATIO: But it’s the other twenty-five percent that’s the most important. Oh, what do I say to her?

EXTRA 2: Just say that you’ve seen her around and wondered what her name was. Something like that.

HORATIO: Anyone could say that.

EXTRA 2: What?

HORATIO: Anyone could say that, I could be anyone.

EXTRA 2: And?

HORATIO: And I’m me, I want her to know that, and if I just go over there and say some cliché pick-up line then she’ll just dismiss me without ever getting to know the real me.

EXTRA 2: Well you can’t just go there and spill your life story.

HORATIO: No, but I can’t just distil myself into a handful of adjectives, a neat little synopsis: I’m not some character in a play who you can just label. If only I knew the right words, the right combination.

EXTRA 2: Forget the words. Just go talk to her.

HORATIO: But I know not what to say.

EXTRA 2: Say anything.

HARRY: (Looking unsurely over at Esmerelda, then back at Extra 2, Horatio’s confidence slipping away from Harry) How did you and Kev- I mean Extra 1, get together?

LUCY: Um… (aside, as if the audience wouldn’t notice) was this in the script?

HARRY: (Also aside) I’m ad-libbing, work with it.

LUCY: He was in a play I went to see, he, uh, he moved with this kind of intensity, this absolute confidence, with the spotlights highlighting all his features. He looked so handsome. Then, after the play was over, me and the friend I was with went to the theatre’s bar, and he was there too, with the rest of the cast members.

During this scene Emma looks up occasionally, expecting Horatio to have come over by now.

HARRY: And what? You just went over and asked him out?

LUCY: Not exactly. I drank half a bottle of wine trying to work up the courage to go talk to him, but by the time I felt ready, he had left.

HARRY: Oh. So then what?

LUCY: I bought tickets for the next night’s performance, and sat alone in the bar just wishing he’d come over and talk to me.

HARRY: And did he?

LUCY: No… Not that night.

HARRY: You went again?

LUCY: I went four nights in a row. On the fourth he came over to me and said “you’ve been here for the last three nights, either you really like this bar, or you really like this play.” I didn’t say anything. All that time waiting for him to come speak to me and I just clammed up. Then he offered to buy me a drink.

HARRY: So you never did go over and talk to him, but it still worked out for you.

LUCY: Well, yes, I suppose, but… only because he came and talked to me, and that’s why you’ve got to go over and talk to Em- the girl over there.

HARRY: What play was it?

LUCY: You’re just trying to avoid talking to her, aren’t you?

HARRY: No, I just want to know.

LUCY: Jack and the Beanstalk. Now go talk to her, Horatio.

TRENT: Yeah, Horatio, go talk to the girl, this bit’s dragging on.

EXTRA 1 enters SL with an armful of invisible books.

HARRY: (Ignoring Trent) Wait. You went to see Jack and the Beanstalk three times?

Extra 1 gives Extra 2 a kiss on the cheek.

EXTRA 1: I’m going to get these books.

LUCY: Okay, just a minute. (To HARRY) Four times. I saw it four times. Now go talk to the girl.

Lucy gives Harry a look of encouragement, then Lucy and Extra 1 exit SR together. Harry still seems unsure, so a spotlight is placed on him and another on Esmerelda. The other stage lights fade away.

HARRY: (Standing) Okay, I shall overcome my shyness and go speak to this angel.

Trent claps sarcastically. Horatio strides towards Esmerelda, at first purposefully but becoming more hesitant as he approaches her. He stands before her.

HARRY: (Nervously, not entirely in character as Horatio) Hi, I noticed you’re reading Virginia Woolf, and I – God, you’re beautiful – I – I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I’m going to come over again.

EMMA: (In a whisper to Harry) You’re meant to say about seeing me across the library making your heart beat quickly, then you ask my name. Just carry on.

HARRY: Oh yeah. I’ve admired you from across this library many times, my heart quickening with each second I behold you. I must – No, I can’t do it, I’m going to have to start again.

EMMA: Harry, we’re in the middle of a performance. Just carry on and they might not notice.

HARRY: No, I want this to be perfect. I’m going to do it again.

Harry turns away and returns to CS. Emma looks exasperated, but shrugs and gets back into character. Harry returns, striding with the more confident attitude he adopts when he ‘becomes’ Horatio.

HORATIO: I’ve admired you from across this library many times, my heart quickening with each second I behold you. I must ask you, for often I have wondered: What is your name, fair lady?

ESMERELDA: Esmerelda.

HORATIO: As I thought, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. My name is Horatio. Might I be so bold as to ask you on a date?

ESMERELDA: A date? So soon?

HORATIO: It is soon, but why wait? Does Cupid wait when he lets fly his arrow?

ESMERELA: Sir, you speak so beautifully, yes, I shall go on a date with you. Where to?

HORATIO: The theatre perhaps, so that we may exalt in the electric atmosphere of a play performed live.

ESMERELDA: Yes, I love the theatre. The theatre’s brilliant. (Emma grimaces after delivering this line)

HORATIO: In that case, fair lady, I shall pick you up at eight.

Horatio exits SL. Esmerelda exits SR.

TRENT: (As the two walk OS) You only just met her, you don’t know where she lives. How do you know where to pick her up from? Amateur.

Trent’s questions are ignored: Horatio and Esmerelda have already gone and Extra 1 and Extra 2 have already begun to rearrange the set, moving the four chairs into a row USR and pushing the two tables together DSL to represent theatre seating and a miniature stage. Trent shrugs and writes some notes in his notebook.

Read Part Two

Tags: boy meets girl, Brecht, Fiction, Freudian slip, play, play-within-a-play, postmodern

This entry was posted on Friday, February 13th, 2009 at 3:49 pm and is filed under Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.