Well done, you found the link to the first short story I ever wrote of my own volition. I think I was about fourteen when I wrote this, maybe thirteen. It was a long time ago anyway. Hopefully you’ll agree I’ve come a long way since then (even if this is about basically the same subject I still write about)…

Searching

The sun glittered through the trees. It was early morning. The sun reflected off the surface of the river. A figure appeared on the horizon. A boy who walked at his own steady pace. He soon wouldn’t be a boy any longer. Soon he would be a man. He didn’t know where he was going. He wasn’t lost, for there was nowhere else he should be. He came to a fork in his path. One road led along the river he had been following, the other didn’t. He didn’t puzzle to hard over which way to go. It didn’t really matter. He followed the river. His was a voyage of discovery. But it was to stick with the familiar river. The day was to young for a sudden change of direction. If the way he had chosen didn’t lead to where he wanted to be, then it lead to somewhere else, somewhere quite new and different. He didn’t know what he was looking for. It hadn’t got shape. It wasn’t a feeling. It wasn’t in anyway tangible. It was just an emptiness. Some people would say he was searching for God. Some people might say it was love that he was missing. Other people may say that he was searching for himself, his purpose. Perhaps it was true that he was searching for all these things. He was searching for answers, but he didn’t know the questions. So he just walked ever onwards.

The sun glittered through the trees. It shone onto his face. Thoughts swam through his mind as he tried to make sense of existence. So much beauty in this world. Is that my purpose to just be part of this beauty? To exist as part of a perfect world? If it is all a huge work of art, then who is it for? Who made it? Will I just accept that that is my destiny and that there is nothing more? To live and to die for art and for destiny. Is death part of beauty? Is it better to accept life and be part of something beautiful for a single lifetime or to wonder about more for an eternity?

Someone else was walking along the same path. A man walking in the opposite direction. He brushed past the boy. The boy and the man turned around to face each other. “Is there something troubling you?” Asked the man. The man had a white collar. He was a vicar. “Are you lost?”
“I’m not lost. But I’m not found. I’m looking for…For God I suppose.” The priest’s face lit.
“Ah, my son. You were lost. But now you are found.” So it came to be that the boy began living at the church. He would not stay here forever. Just until he found his own path. The vicar took in the boy as his own son. The boy read the Holy bible and prayed as a Christian. He started schooling in that town. His life was good, but he was not content. There was still an emptiness that needed to be filled while he was still a child. Before he became a man.

He neither enjoyed school nor despised it. He wanted to learn, but he wanted to learn meaning not science. It was at school he met a girl. She was beautiful and he wanted to be with her. She would make his life complete. They began going out. Still he felt an emptiness. It was smaller than before but something was missing. He had love. Perhaps now he needed God. The bible had taught him that God is love. He was close, maybe.

One lunchtime at school he went out side and there was a gang of people. They were crowded around another person lying on the floor. They were bullying him. Calling him names and kicking him as he lay there on the floor. He was trying to defend himself, but he was already bleeding. The serenity and beauty of life that the boy had begun to build up was shattered. He lost faith in God at that moment. He screamed towards the sky “Is this the will of God, Is this what you call beauty?” He ran out of the school yard. He ran to the church. It no longer felt like his home. He burst in through the arched doorway. The familiar faces of the saints in the stained glass windows greeted. But they were no longer familiar. It seemed as though they were mocking his foolishness. The vicar was sat in quiet prayer as he usually was. He was surprised when the boy burst in. The boy walked straight over to the statue of the Virgin Mary where he always prayed. “Forgive me father for what I am about to do and thank you for your kindness.” He kneeled down in prayer position. “If there is a God, then I ask that you show yourself to me now.” He said in his mind. Nothing happened the boy stood up and shouted. “There is no God.” He left the church. The vicar was stunned. Outside the boy walked out the church. Bitter tears stung his eyes. His search had to begin again. He began walking around the town he had come to know but he did not know where he was going. “Help me please, someone.” He kept mumbling. Then there was a bright light. He felt someone’s arms around him. A girl. She had come from nowhere. Her cheek pressed against his. Whoever she was the boy felt better for her company. She whispered his name in his ear, then “No need to be afraid any longer. I’m here now.” Her warm kindness made him want to hold her as she was holding him. He felt wings on her back. “Who are you that you know my name? Are you an angel,” He asked.
“ I am part of you. I watch over you. I care about you more than anyone else does. I have always watched over you. I suppose that I am your guardian angel.”
“Why have I never seen you before if you watch over me?”
“No one can see their guardian angel. Except you. But I knew you were special.”
“I’m sorry I don’t really understand. Where you sent by God?”
“God? I don’t know. I don’t know if he even exists. I don’t know how to make myself clearer than I have done. When you wake up in the morning, it is because I wake you up. I bring you from unconsciousness. When you were upset, I stopped the tears. When you cut yourself, I stop the bleeding. I’m part of your soul. I can’t be without you. One day our spirits truly will intertwine. When you become a man…but you need not know about things to come. A moment ago you needed me more than ever. So I came to you. Now we’re together and I love you.”

The boy had set off from his home to find answers to questions he didn’t have. Now he had more questions than ever and less answers than he thought he had started out with. But he couldn’t ask them now. Some one was coming. It was his girl friend. He pulled himself free of the angel’s sweet caress. “Quick hide, my girlfriend is coming.”
“Girlfriend.” The angel rolled the word over her tongue like a bad tasting sweet. The boy’s mind was racing. “How am I going to explain hugging a naked girl with wings?” He thought to himself. His girlfriend was coming nearer. She must have seen the angel. She walked towards the boy, and straight through the angel. The boy was surprised. “Only you can see me.” Explained the angel to the boy. “Are you alright? You just ran out of school like that. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” She said. He had a distant look on his face. “Come on let’s go get some coffee, then you’ll feel better.” He nodded and they walked off together. The angel followed disapprovingly. The two and the virtually unseen went into a coffee house.

The boy and the girl sat at a table sipping their coffees. The angel floated behind the girl. “What was wrong with you earlier?” Asked the girl. The angel was talking to him as well.
“She’s not who you’re meant to be with. You’re meant to be with me. It’s destiny.” He wanted to reply, but to everyone else it would look like he was talking to himself. The angel sensed this. “Reach out to me with your mind. See, I know you. I know everything about you. She doesn’t.” Said the angel indicating the girl. The boy tried telepathic communication and the angel understood. “How am I meant to be with you. You’re not human, you’re-“ He was cut off by his girlfriend. “Did you even hear what I said?” She asked.
“Sorry, I was thinking about something else.” He replied. The angel came closer to him.
“You’re not yourself today.” Said his girl friend. The angel kissed him gently on the lips.
“Kiss her.” The angel instructed, pointing to his girlfriend, who was talking again. He didn’t argue with the angel. Surely if he kissed his girlfriend, it would prove the angel wrong.
“I said, What was wrong-“ The boy interrupted her.
“Will you kiss me please?”
“Why?” She asked. But she just shrugged and lent forwards. They kissed. But to the boy, it didn’t feel right. “See, I told you.” Chirped the angel happily. The two drew away from each other and looked at each other. The girl’s eyes were filled with nothing but love. He didn’t think he could bare to break up with her. “Tell her.” Said the angel. The boy shook his head. “You have to. You know I’m right. Do it for me after all I’ve done for you.” The boy sighed. He spoke to the girl: “I’m sorry but I don’t think this is working out. I…I have to go now far away. We can’t see each other any more. Its not you, I just have to go.” He stood up and left her with tears in her eyes.

The angel flew in front of him and started talking to him. “I know how hard that was for you.” She said, “Thank you for trusting me.” She flew closer to him as he walked and whispered to him “My little boy, soon you will be a man. You want to go home I can feel it. You will return to your home as a man.”
“Please angel, please tell me why you made me do that. I did love her.” He said to her in his mind.
“At one time maybe you did. But I didn’t make you do that. You did for yourself, I just advised you, it would have happened sooner or later.”
“How do you know?”
“Stop.” She told him. He stopped. “Look at me.” He obeyed. “I am in the form of your true love. Your soul mate. When you pass from boyhood into manhood I will go away for a short time. Then we will be together always. But you will soon forget all this. Now is the time for the final journey.” A figure was stood a little way in front of the pair. He was the only one on the empty cobbled street. He was tall and masculine and looked like an older version of the boy. “Face him alone. This is your test. I love you.” Said his angel before vanishing. The man had his back to the boy and was looking out to sea. The boy walked up to him and stood next to him. The man didn’t acknowledge him until he spoke. “Do you feel you are ready child?” Asked the man.
“Yes.” Replied the boy.
“I sense doubt in you are you sure?”
“I am scared, but ready.”
“Then let it begin.” Said the man, before sweeping his arm round to knock over the boy. Caught off guard, the boy fell to the floor. The man was relentless. He attacked the boy as he lay on the floor. The boy just had to accept every blow. The man stopped. “Stand up.” He shouted. The boy was dazed and struggled to stand. “Who are you? You look kinda like my father,” the boy asked through bleeding lips. “I am the spirit of your childhood, in the form of your older self.”
“What is this test?” Asked the boy.
“It is one of endurance. The only one who can stop the pain is your angel. Call her, and your life will remain incomplete, a child forever.” The man struck again. The boy was fast and raised his arm to block. He felt the bone snap as it was hit. The angel could stop the pain, but he mustn’t call to her. The man grabbed his other hand and began squeezing. The boy heard his hand crack. He fell to his knees. The man snapped his ribs with a blow from his knee. The boy fought for consciousness. It was an endurance test. When would it end? The boy must be strong. He slowly stood up, as if he was baring a great weight. The man released his hand. “You have done well.” Was all the boy heard before the black sheen of unconsciousness crept over him. As he fell he wondered, “Will my angel wake me this time?”

The angel lay by his side all night, as she had done every night before that. She healed his wounds slowly over the hours of night. Giving her own strength and tears. “Wake up my love.” She kept telling him, “Today you are a man.” She lay very close to him and very still. She pressed her cheek to his. “Your cheek, so cold. Oh, please wake up.” She longed to feel the familiar warmth that she had felt all of her life. A few minutes before dawn she could feel it again. It was faint. His body was still cold. But it was rising. She felt it emanating out of his centre. She longed to be close to it. Closer than ever before. She knew he would wake soon. It was time. “We will be together always.” She whispered in his ear. He thought he heard something, or felt something just before he woke. Like a slight breath of wind. The angel held herself very close to him. Two became one. His eyelids fluttered and he awoke.

The first light of dawn greeted his confused mind. He stood up, wondering why he was here. He had quite a lot of bruises on his body, nothing more serious. But he couldn’t work out where they had come from. He sensed a change in his body. It was as intangible as his previous emptiness. Now it was more of a fullness, or a nearly fullness. Today was the day he would return home. He didn’t have any more answers than before, but he felt he knew more and was more contented. At home he would be greeted as a man. He set off down The path he had originally walked down. The early morning sun glittered through the trees and on his face. Maybe the world wasn’t such a bad place to exist. He didn’t much care what was after his life on Earth, he wasn’t worried, for somehow he knew that he would never be alone.

The sun glittered through the trees. A girl was walking in the opposite direction to him. He thought nothing of it. They passed each other. He got an odd sense of Déjà vu. The boy and the girl turned round to face each other.
“Excuse me, have we met?” Asked the boy.
“No I don’t think so. I’m sure I’d remember. Maybe you do look familiar.” She replied.
“Would you mind terribly if I kissed you?” Asked the boy.
“No, not at all. I think I would quite like that.” They kissed and somehow, without knowing it, they understood something. Neither could describe what it was. It just felt natural. They began to walk together. As they walked off into the distance the boy could be heard to ask “Do you believe in God?” and the girl might have been heard to reply.
“Well, I’m not quite sure. I can’t see how one entity can watch over everyone. I suppose I believe that everyone has their own personal watcher. A guardian angel if you like.”
“I never thought of that before.” Said the boy, “What a beautiful idea.” With that they walked over the horizon together.